And that would be your business…why?
Today I learned something. If you enter an email address along with your comments for a blog that uses Haloscan, your email address is displayed. Most comment systems I’ve seen ask you to enter your email, but it’s only visible to the site owner. I’d neglected to notice that Haloscan differs.
I learned this because I got quite the interesting email — directly to my account — today from someone who visited here from another site where I’d commented. Considering that this email’s remarks directly addressed a specific post, who knows why this person didn’t just leave a comment…
Stripping out any identifying info, here it is:
From: (woman’s name)
Date: Jul 17, 2005 6:43 PM
Subject: Curious
To: (me)I found your blog from the (site) comments. I wonder if there were reasons besides his small penis that you decided not to try to establish a relationship with your daughter’s father. Do you reckon the penis size was a deal breaker? What will you tell your daughter about her father? (God, please! don’t tell her the real reason.)
I wonder because I was a bit shocked the first time I saw my husband’s penis which is kind of small–at least by what I’d seen before and magazine pictures. But it turned out he was a great lover, the best sex I ever had is with my husband despite his size.
I wonder too what difficulty your daughter might have with only you as a parent. Girls especially need men around for establishing good relationship with other men.
Maybe when she grows up she will try to find her biological father like some adopted children do. Would you help her do that if she showed interest and desire to do so?
Maybe this guy was a creep and it was not just his penis size. I was just wondering.
Best Wishes
(first name)
Note that of the LONG post about my daughter’s bio dad, the comment about his, um…size…was one sentence. And written with humor. Running with the assumption that this woman really is who she says, I’m pleased for her that she enjoys her husband. Really, I am. But…
A few possibilities:
- This really is a woman who really is married to a talented, but underendowed man. She really is genuinely concerned about my daughter’s well-being.
- This really is a woman who’s married to the underendowed man, but she subconsciously hates it, so is hyper-sensitive to any penis-size comment.
- This is a troll. Then again, if it were, I’d almost expect a troll to WANT to post a comment here, just to stir up some excitement. To this thought, the yahoo profile shows as “updated 7/16/2005, but contains no information whatsoever — it’s clearly a newly created email address.
- This is an underendowed man, and he’s standing up for his brothers.
I could go on. Maybe I will later, but for now, I’m too busy snickering at the mental image of my sitting with a six-year-old daughter on my knee, gently explaining to her any of the following:
-
“Darling, you must understand. I was so relieved when the ultrasound showed that you were a girl, so you wouldn’t inherit your father’s…affliction.”
“Sweetheart, I’m sorry that you don’t know your father, but he has a small penis, so is an evil person. I couldn’t expose you to that.”
My reply to her question:
Not that it’s really any of your concern — but my issue with the biological donor to my daughter’s DNA had more to do with his inability/unwillingness to listen to the word “no.” By the time I learned I was pregnant, I had no way to contact him; he was someone I *met* on NYE, not a date. Surely, in that context, you can understand why I was upset about the not-listening-to-no part.
For the record? He was a great kisser. I mean, it got as far as it did for a reason. Even though I didn’t want/plan to sleep with the guy, I didn’t shut him down as harshly or clearly as I should have because…well…I wanted to keep *kissing* him.
Rereading her letter and my response, I realize that I neglected to answer one question. Of course, I’d help my daughter to find her biological father. Over the past several months, I’ve entertained the idea of doing some detective work myself, simply so I’ll have something for her to start with when/if that day arrives.
I fully realize that by posting personal details on a blog, that I open myself up to others’ opinions. Can’t they just form opinions based on what’s written, though, instead of on their own assumptions? I honestly don’t mind being judged — if that judgement is based on fact. All too often, though, it’s not.
The author’s comments about my daughter’s emotional well-being are a whole other topic for some other day.
Posted by Allison in single motherhood, backstory, amuse me |
July 18th, 2005 at 8:12 am
Emailed directly to me:
And my response:
As much fodder as this person provides for future posts, he/she/it doesn’t get the front page for this one. Somehow, he/she/it misses the point that the derision of “LD” stems not from his endowment, but from his behavior.
It’s always interesting to get a healthy dose of reality in the morning. While I realize that not everyone who knows me or learns of our story will leap to such conclusions, some people will. The truth? It says much more about them than it does about me.
Of course, I’m not without blame for allowing an act of sex to happen. I was there, remember? To extrapolate from that that I entrapped him (what, was I *trying* to become pregnant?) is astounding.
July 18th, 2005 at 4:14 pm
Hi Allison, I really liked the comment you posted on my blog and I am REALLY glad it led me to this post! You and I have a lot in common as far as being single moms….etc.
If I had to make a bet on who is writing you with their “concern for your daughter” I would guess that it is A) a guy with a small one that is sticking up for his brothers (as you suggested) or B) a very frustrated female that is someone envious of you so is judging you as a mother/woman.
Just my observations. I hope that person can just move on and not be concerned about things that don’t really concern him/her.
God bless you!
Layla/Well Woman
July 18th, 2005 at 5:57 pm
[…] aching, and that such fair use will not result in the infringement of a copyrighted work. Some people really should learn to take themselves less seriously.
[…]
July 1st, 2006 at 2:58 pm
Yes! Because he’s not some loser who’s a semantic half-sneeze away from being a rapist, he’s The Father Of Your Child!
Clearly you should be bringing him tea and dumplings while he inconspicuously impregnates you some more, thus proving he massive, fearsome, turgid man-ness. After all, you’re Fully Responsible—said massive-fearsome-turgid man-meat having a mind and sentience of its own, in the face of which The Father Of Your Child must have been powerless!
Do people even read this stuff before they mail it to you?!
July 1st, 2006 at 5:27 pm
His. *His* massive, etc. I suppose getting riled up enough to bother commenting goes along with getting riled up enough to start making typos.
September 8th, 2006 at 8:52 am
My dick is so tiny
My dick is so small
Sometimes it seems
I’ve got no dick at all.