Drama, drama, drama (and boundaries)

My online mommy group is probably the most calm online community I’ve ever known. Everyone is very supportive of each other. We’re friendly. We don’t argue.

Earlier today, a forward to the list pushed my buttons, and I responded in what I considered to be a reasonable manner. Instead of trying to explain, it’s probably easier to just show the flow of conversation.

Here’s the forwarded email, minus the formatting. That’s a pity, because the 18 to 36-point font, combined with red, teal, and blue text (with lots of underlining) adds *so much*. Mmmm. Klassy.

RED ON FRIDAYS

Very soon, you will see a great many people wearing Red every Friday. The reason?

Americans who support our troops used to be called the “silent majority”.

We are no longer silent, and are voicing our love for God, country and home in record breaking numbers.

We are not organized, boisterous or over-bearing.
We get no liberal media coverage on TV, to reflect our message or our opinions.
Many Americans, like you, me and all our friends, simply want to recognize that the vast majority of America supports our troops.

Our idea of showing solidarity and support for our troops with dignity and respect starts this Friday -and continues each and every Friday until the troops all come home, sending a deafening message that..

Every red-blooded American who supports our men and women afar,
will wear something red on Fridays.

By word of mouth, press, TV — let’s make the United States on every Friday a sea of red much like a homecoming football game in the bleachers.

If every one of us who loves this country will share this
with acquaintances, co-workers, friends, and family,
Then it will not be long before the USA is covered in RED
and it will let our troops know the once “silent” majority is on their side more than ever, certainly more than the media lets on.

The first thing a soldier says when asked “What can we do to make things better for you?”
is…We need your support and your prayers.

Let’s get the word out and lead with class and dignity, by example;
and wear something red every Friday.

WE LIVE IN THE LAND OF THE FREE, ONLY BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE.

If your blood runs red, then wear red on Fridays to show support of our troops.

If you take your freedom for granted,
and you are willing to just let others fight for your freedom with no respect from you,
then just ignore this message and just delete it.

MOST OF ALL - GOD BLESS AMERICA

This email bothered me on several front, but I replied about one specific one. Having someone tell me “if you don’t think just exactly the same way I do you’re anti-American (or unchristian, or any other list of adjectives)” just pisses me off.

My response:

While I understand the sentiment behind this forward, I found it semi-offensive just the same.

Just because I lean toward liberal,
just because I think that our current president is doing a terrible job,
just because I don’t think we belonged in Iraq…

…doesn’t mean that I don’t stand behind our men and women in uniform. I don’t support this war. I do support our people. There’s a big difference, and the final statement of this email simplifies things into such simplistic, idiotic black/white, lazy-minded hooey that it’s irritating. As easy as it is to assume that any other “good” people *must* think the same way you do — in general, not just you, Tiff — there are a wide variety of opinions out there, even on a group so small as this one.

Off my soapbox. My point is that when the posts begin to get into the political realm, they probably don’t belong here.

I wasn’t as clear as I should have been, but I felt that I got the point across. Apparently, I didn’t, as another person told me how rude my reply was, because after all, we *know* that (original sender)’s husband is military, and she’s just trying to show support. Um, yeah. Whatever.

Support the troops all day. Send a million emails talking about ways to help them out. Just don’t berate other people in the process, please.

The back-and-forth went a couple emails with this one person, and I doubt she gets my meaning. After a little time away from the computer screen, I have it a bit clearer now. If this thread continues, I’ll start one to this effect:

Appropriate/Inappropriate

Okay: I support the troops.
Not Okay: If you don’t support the troops, you’re an un-American evil commie who’s on the side of terrorism.

Okay: I think President Bush is doing a good job.
Not Okay: If you aren’t on the President’s side and think he does no wrong, you hate freedom.

Okay: Let’s wear red to show our support of the troops.
Not Okay: If you don’t wear red, you’re a lazy non-supporter who hate our troops.

You get the idea? It works the other way too:

Okay: I don’t think we should be at war in Iraq.
Not Okay: If you’re in favor of this war, you’re a violent idiot.

It’s a party game! Add your own examples in the comments section.