Other Blogs: MIM
A few weeks ago, I posted about weight and body image, and found myself reading the initial “shitstorm” post on Morphing Into Mama (MIM). (Aside: How appropriate is it that I just wanted to write “morphine” instead of “morphing”? Oh, the pain!) I read the post, and I found myself with some seriously mixed feelings about this gal’s blog. On the one hand, she’s articulate, funny, irreverant…very much the same sort of parent I am myself. On the other hand…I felt so bashed for being (gasp) fat! And…this gal had the audacity to say that wives should stay slim for their husbands! How dare she?
As I’ve continued to read MIM (like I said, she’s articulate…also addictive), I’ve seen a woman with whom I often agree and sometimes disagree, but whom I always respect. Why’s that? Because she respects others’ right to have their own opinions, too. She also doesn’t back down from what she thinks, but if she’s misunderstood, she takes the time to explain a little more. This makes so much sense now, that I read in an interview that she’s working on a Master’s in Psych…ah, that explains the good boundaries.
One thing I’ve learned as I read (many) blogs is that I don’t know these people. Even as I’m getting to know them, I still don’t know them. Getting to know someone is a process, and it takes time — lots of time — to really develop a well-rounded picture. I’m enjoying learning more about MIM, and sometimes wish that I’d started writing anonymously during Maya’s pregnancy instead of starting the public baby blog. Then again, a series of rants wouldn’t really make a good baby book, now, would it? Maya’s blog is just that: Maya’s. It’s not one out there to garner traffic, and it’s often pretty darned boring for anyone who doesn’t know my child (or even those who do). And you know what? That’s okay. I often find myself wishing that these bright, intelligent women lived somewhere near me, just so we could hang out and become friends.
Even if she would think I’m fat.
Posted by Allison in this-n-that |
May 16th, 2006 at 5:33 pm
I totally agree about not really knowing people from their blogs — that’s very easy to forget. It’s the same reason we feel like we “know” celebrities or newscasters. (I do think you can get to know people online, but not just from reading their blogs).
That said, writers do need to take responsibility for what they say. I remember well that MIM incident, and what irks me about MIM in that case is not that she made statements with which I disagree, but that she didn’t really take responsibility for the inefficacy of her communication. Anyone who’s been on the internet for more than five minutes has experienced the net denizens who get all, “But you misunderstand me!” Readers do bring their own preconceptions to any “rhetorical artifact” (sorry for pulling out the academic term, there, but it’s really the best one to use in this case!) so misunderstandings can happen. But another thing that happens is that writers jot off posts without thinking about how inflammatory or hurtful they could be. And then afterward, they get all, “But that’s not what I was SAYing!”
On the topic of mother blogs, I’m a dooce devotee all the way. But everyone is, aren’t they?
May 16th, 2006 at 5:45 pm
I’d have a drink (or five — okay, three) with Heather Armstrong in a heartbeat. I get the impression that she has similar feelings toward Mormonism that I have toward fundamentalist charismatic Christianity.
You’re right about post-writing. In the months since I wrote the post about NYE ‘04, when I’ve re-read that post, I realize that I come off pretty darned flip. That wasn’t how I heard it in my head, but I can see where someone might read it and think “trollop!” Sure, I can tell them “that’s not what I meant,” but I might have just done a better job writing it in the first place.
The only problem I have with that is that proof-reading takes the joy (and spontenaeity) out of blogging! Eh, whatever.