Jiggety-jig and all that jazz. I didn’t finally leave Santa Fe until this morning, and it was torture to do so. You’d think that after five days of nearly 24/7 time with someone, you’d get a little tired of them. Nope.

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Dispatch from the road:

Meeting came much faster than I’d originally planned — Thursday afternoon in Santa Fe.

All is well, and I’m very happy — and laughing that a short time ago I questioned whether I was capable of feeling anything. To keep it simple, I will be seeing a lot of this man for a very long time to come.

We’re off for a few days while I take my boy-dog to his breeder down in southern Arizona. It’s a sad trip, but we’ll get to see family and friends along the way, so that eases the sting a bit.

Here it is, early in the AM, and I’m finishing packing. Now. Oh, coffee. My lifeline.

Why so tired? Instead of finishing my packing lika any sane human being would have done, I spent 2-1/2 to 3 hours on the phone last night. Did I mention how much I hate long phone calls? It’s fabulous to meet someone who’s the exception to the rule…and I’ve kicked the others to the curb to give myself a little time to figure out where this may lead.

That’s the problem about setting a date so far in advance. The anticipation just might kill me. I’d tell you that I’m holdling back until then (to ease any potential heartache), but who am I kidding? I’m totally into him, and holding back nothing.

Anyhoo, I’ll be back Monday night. See ya then!

courtesy Sojourners (via email):

“I love my church, and I’m a Catholic who was raised by intellectuals who were very devout. I was raised to believe that you could question the church and still be a Catholic. What is worthy of satire is the misuse of religion for destructive or political gains. That’s totally different from the Word, the blood, the body, and the Christ. His kingdom is not of this earth.”

- Stephen Colbert, of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report.

(emphasis added)

Hear, hear.

Monday’s post followed along a path I’ve seen before, one where I’ve been convinced that there’s a specific “normal” path to follow, just to be reminded that it’s okay for me to be me.

A few years ago, I first started to actively reconnect with my own Sprituality, but bucked hard at the idea of Christianity, because I felt like in order to consider it, I had to lose myself. One Sunday afternoon in May, 2003, this is what came into my head from “seemingly” nowhere:

You have stayed away from Me and run away from Me because you were afraid that I would make you change into someone different. You think you know who that would be, and you see her as boring, drab, and deprived of life, interest, and excitement.

I haven’t come to change you into anyone other than who you are. I have come to peel away the layers that you have surrounded yourself with, and to remove the veils that encircle you one at a time, until you stand before me naked, exposed, and utterly gorgeous. And utterly you. I didn’t create you, Allison, to be a shy, drab church mouse. Why would I create your sparkling personality just to then tell you to be something other than who you are? I don’t work that way. I had great things in mind when I created you, and if you will just let Me, I’ll blow your mind with how different your relationship with Me will be than you’ve ever imagined.

Like I wrote the other day, I was made to dance. If I’d just remember that (and stop trying to run), I’d be a much more relaxed human being, don’tcha think? My feelings about Christianity are still rather ambivalent, but that doesn’t change the message. Whether words like these come from God, from The Great Spirit, or merely from my higher self, they’re just as meaningful.

This week’s theme: There is a word for it.

dandle (DAN-dl) verb tr.

1. To bounce a child on the knees or in the arms.

2. To pamper or pet.

[Of uncertain origin.]

Today’s word in Visual Thesaurus

-Anu Garg (garg AT wordsmith.org)

“Out in the chilly Pacific air, people gossiped, drank Red Bull and vodka,
dandled babies and sat around on canvas-covered poufs in a closed parking
lot.”
Guy Trebay; Off the Wall and Off the Hook; The New York Times; Aug 11, 2006.

I talked to him again this evening, and at some point, I asked if he’d ever watched “House.” No, he hadn’t…but now that I mention it, his housemate tells him that he looks like a guy on the show, Robert Sean Leonard. I told him that I wasn’t surprised, because I’d noticed the similarity myself.

If he only knew.

I checked email one last time before bed, and “just for fun” he forwarded a recent photo of himself, along with two RSL photos provided by his housemate. She and I are right.

Oh, Claudio! (snicker)

…I might as well be paid for what I do normally. What an afternoon.

One friend miscarried and wanted help writing a way to let her family know about it (she’d only just told them). Another is frustrated with her job and working too many hours, but not quite prepared to let her employer know that they’re using her. A third just called (out of the blue — she’s almost more an acquaintance) asking if she could come stay with me for a few days on an emergent basis — it sounds like she’s reached the point of fearing her husband. I have space, so I almost consider it an obligation to help, because I *can.*

~~~~~

Within the past week, I’ve started to lean more toward getting a Masters degree in Counseling and setting any PhD plans aside until later. When I look at my life, my finances, and my location, it simply makes more sense. After a chat with the Fitness Director at my gym recently, I might also consider adding a personal training certification to that mix. Who knows, maybe instead of chasing the doctorate (yet), I can build a practice that focuses on wellness of the entire individual, physical, mental, and emotional.

I have it so bad, it’s not even funny. Diving board? What diving board?

The girl sits in the classroom, in her tattered red shirt that she’s chewed on during anxiety. The teacher continues to talk, but it sounds like the wah-wah-wah of a Peanuts adult. The other kids seem to follow her, and no one notices that the girl is lost and scared. She’s alone, and no one cares that she’s behind the pack.

But I’m supposed to be at the front of the pack! I’m supposed to do everything right! What if I can’t be perfect? They’ll send me back. They already have one perfect one, so they don’t need me, after all…

The light walks into the room and taps the girl on the shoulder, and beckons her to follow.

But, I’m already behind! I’m running as fast as I can, but I can’t keep up!

You’re running on the wrong track, silly. That’s not your race. Come over here.

The light leads her to an obstacle course — one that requires problem solving, and moving back and forward, and jumping up and down.

But, how will I keep up with them, if I’m moving back and forward?

The question is, how will they keep up with you while you’re dancing? Stop trying to run. You’re made to dance.