The mood over at DailyKos has been downright pissy. Those in favor of the finance bill that failed today were pretty accusatory toward those who weren’t. Finally, some sanity:

Whether you supported the bailout gladly, supported it holding your nose, opposed it but worried about the results if it failed or were unhesitatingly eager to see it fail, that ship has sailed. Or rather sunk. Three choices remain: do nothing, jury-rig something to get us through to January or come up with something better. Contrary to conventional wisdom, many of us who opposed the Paulson bailout, and the Democratically tweaked bailout we saw defeated in the House today, don’t reside in the do-nothing camp. (emphasis added)

Say it with me. Something has to be done, yes. Just not THAT something. In the post I quoted, MeteorBlades begins a conversation about what other options are out there for helping our economic mess. It’s worth a look, and gives a few different perspectives. Unfortunately, the comments are still embarrassingly argumentative in places. It makes the Idealist in me cringe.

The votes seem to have stopped moving. 226 Nay, 207 Yea.

Time to start writing letters in hopes it stays that way.

UPDATE: The gavel fell, with 228 Nay, 205 Yea.

Oh.My.God.

Found via We Don’t Buy It, a comic strip explanation of the subprime crisis. Classic. NSFW language, but classic.

(yeah, I know — I’ll blog about ME again someday, too)

He’s a kind person.

After last night’s debates, the McCain campaign immediately went on to string together a web ad pouncing on the 7 or 8 moments when Barack Obama started a sentence with the words, “John is right…” Obama often seeks common ground (as a starting point) on any problem before diving into areas of contention. Perhaps because this is a tactic I use myself (like the good (iNtuitiveFeeler I am), it makes sense to me.

The McCain ad strikes me a cynical and as disrespectful to the intelligence of the American people. Anyone who actually watched the debate saw that “John is right…” was usually followed by a specific instance in which Obama agrees, followed by a vast wasteland of areas where their perspectives diverge.

Rather than blathering on about this, I’ll point you to two more prominent bloggers who reached the same conclusion that I did:

Hilzoy (Obsidian Wings): “John Was Right”

Nonetheless, the McCain campaign seems to think that pointing out the occasions when Obama said that McCain was right is a winning strategy. I think this is wrong, not only for the reasons I mentioned, but because it undercuts one of McCain’s main lines of argument: that he is willing to reach across the aisle and work for bipartisan solutions, whereas Obama is not.

…

John Cole (Balloon Juice): Tactics v. Strategy, Style v. Substance

Obama is clearly not agreeing with him on substance- this is Obama’s style. He works from a point of agreement, and then moves to differentiate himself and or to attack. Everything is”You are right, but…”

I know that this bothers some of you, but it is one of the things I like about Obama. I think it is a graceful and gentlemanly way of debating. Additionally, it works really well in the type of format they had last night, where they are allowed to provide lengthy comments and responses. It may not be as effective in a different type of format, where it really may seem that all Obama does is agree with someone and then get cut off by the buzzer before supplying the “yes, but.” Last night, though, it was exceptional. Obama was able to come across as a decent, earnest, and honest fellow of integrity who was confident enough to point out when his opponent was right before contrasting the differences between the two of them, while McCain sat hunched over the podium grimacing and unable to look his opponent in the eye.

…

My own thoughts…in writing, without having to type a darned thing. Rather than feeling chagrined that someone beat me to the punch, I’m just glad that there are others out there who see what I see.

If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things.
- Rene Descartes

Just sent to the Obama campaign and the Senate Banking Committee (both via email):

Please, please, please do not support the bailout. Not for Wall Street. Not for homeowners. Period.

Wall Street, like a delinquent teenager, acts like it’s gotten a new credit card and now expects Mom and Dad to pay the balance. Nope. WS needs to learn responsibility. With risk comes reward, but it also comes…RISK.

I’ve held off on purchasing a home (after selling my last one in 2005) largely because I did the research and understood two facts: 1) homes were overvalued and 2) at my current income, it would be irresponsible to purchase a home that I couldn’t afford. The idea that people who didn’t do their due dilligence will get a handout as a reward for their own irresponsibility is galling to me.

No handout. Period.

Links to people much smarter and more experienced than me who agree:

Raghuram G. Rajan, former chief economist at the International Monetary Fund, says that the Treasury Department’s $700 billion bailout plan is flawed and argues that the private sector needs to step in and help out—or risk a mammoth public backlash.

ALLAN MELTZER, Carnegie Mellon University: It’s a terrible idea. It’s undemocratic. It’s bad economic policy, and it’s bad social policy. And it has a very little chance of solving the problem in a meaningful way.

Please continue to step away from Bush’s desired “panic mode” to really assess what’s needed.

Thanks,
Allison
Los Alamos, NM
Mom to two who’d like to avoid mortgaging their future

It ROCKS.

That’s all. As you were.

I love new words, especially ones that resonate with my life.

The New, True, Eudaimonic You

Eudaimonia refers to a state of well-being and full functioning that derives from a sense of living in accordance with one’s deeply held values—in other words, from a sense of authenticity. Some characteristics of the eudaimonic life include:

• Being open to experience without censorship or distortion
• Living fully in the moment, so the self feels fluid rather than static
• Trusting inner experience to guide behavior
• Feeling free to respond rather than automatically react to life events
• Taking a creative approach to living, rather than relying on routine and habit.

Today’s focus at Psychology Today online is authenticity. The timing couldn’t be better, considering that much of my recent focus (in my head, even when not written up here) has been on trying to parse out reality from distortion, especially when it comes to my picture of myself.

You see, lately, I haven’t been enjoying being me much of the time. This isn’t an all-the-time phenomena, but it’s frequent enough that I’m puzzling over whether my life might need some big changes. Over the past 10+ years, authenticity has become the trait that I most desire in myself. Sometimes, that just means shedding away self-censorship and dancing without worry about who might see. Other times, it means recognizing and admitting — even embracing — parts of myself that aren’t so desirable. It’s this second item that has troubled me lately — troubled me enough that blogging has been sporadic at best. Yes, I’ve thrown up periodic parenting and political thoughts or humor, but that involves no risk. It doesn’t expose any of myself — at least not any tender spots.

Saying that I’m a cranky, mean, caustic bitch more often lately than I care to admit? That’s a little harder for me to swallow. But I’m a NICE person, damn it!

Last night, I was chatting with an online friend (hi, Linda!) about my lack of writing and how it’s affected my own mental state. As would seem obvious, she said, “Well, write, then.” “But, but…some people I know for REAL read this blog, even if it’s only every once in a while.” “Does that really matter?” (This is paraphrased. The actual exchange was much longer.) When I thought about it, I realized that no, it shouldn’t matter. Some of the issues I need to consider — ones that might hurt people’s pride and/or feelings — are important enough that I need to just dive in.

What this means is that things might be a little uncomfortable around here in the coming days/weeks/months while I try to get my head on straight. While I don’t like “uncomfortable,” I spent most of my childhood avoiding it, just to end up with severe depression in my mid-twenties. My sense is that in order to get the ugly to go away, I have to plow through it; there is no over or around.

Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.

Sorry for the vagueness. I’m still steeling myself to strip off all the veneer and get emotionally naked. (Hey, will that word raise my hit count?) Here’s hoping I can swim through without drowning in my own head!

I like it, even if it does inspire me to break into song…

Oh, he’s a lumberjack, and he’s okay!

Via DailyKos, I bring you today’s amusement. If you were one of Sarah Palin’s kids, what *would* your name be?

Leave your name in the comments.

I know what I’m doing on Thursday!

Some truth of the matter, courtesy Planned Parenthood:

Psssst…pass it on.

Gavin was avoiding sleep, fussing in his swing. Maya walked over to him, cooed at him and gently gave him a pacifier (which did, actually, pacify him — go figure).

“Maya, you’re a really sweet big sister.”

(not even looking up from her puzzle) “Hmmm.”

“You really just wanted him to be quiet, didn’t you?”

“Yup.”

At least she’s honest about it.

No, really.

Wahhhh! Moooo-oooom, they’re picking on me! I thought they were MY friends!

(nice visual, eh?)

Over the past few weeks, I’ve started to wonder (fear, actually) that I might need my meds adjusted upward. Anxiety has crept in. A general cantankerousness has joined my normally happy demeanor. I’m not excited about my life. And most of all, I find myself engaging in a thought script that involves a lot of doubt about myself, my life, and my choices. All of these are big red flag type indicators that something is amiss. But I’m only now spending the time delving in. Why?

For one thing, I’d be lying if I said pride wasn’t a factor. Yes, I might be on an antidepressant, but I’m on a low dose, and have never needed anything more than that. Pretty stupid, huh?

Beyond that, I have a case of fear-based “what if”s. What if I raise the dose, and that only helps for a brief time before I start tumbling again? What if I am *gasp* irreparably broken? If so, why fight? Why not just accept? Well, there is that teensy issue that life quickly becomes not worth much if I do give in.

Finally, I realized that if I’m needing a dose-boost, perhaps that means that there are non-medication fixes that I need in my life. Okay, not “perhaps” there are, but undoubtedly, there are changes that I need to make. And the biggest change I need to make is that I must — just must — get thoughts out of my head for processing more often. I rarely write any more, and when I do, it’s not of much substance, just a quote and a quip.

So, here I am, with a brain full-to-bursting of ideas, thoughts, emotions, and writing material. Why am I not writing?

Self-censorship.

This is a big deal, one that I’ve touched upon before. Wow, how much things have changed since those days, huh? What remains true is that for me to write well, I need to allow myself the freedom to write whatever strikes me, without worry about who’s reading. Does that mean I should just journal privately? Well, no — I don’t think so. Part of the fulfilling nature of writing for me is in having feedback (even the absence of feedback is feedback)!

Crap. I realize now, I’m censoring myself even in writing about censorship. Crap, crap, crap.

Moving on (since I’m a bit stuck), I moved to my current town (and it IS a town — only 20k people give or take, and an hour+ drive to Santa Fe) in February. As a result, while I have a few “friends” those friendships are more of the acquaintance variety. And, I do have a few very close friendships I maintain remotely, but how much do I want to dump on those folks with what’s in my head? At least one of my good friends, I’ve come to almost develop a complex about how much I’ve used her ear as I’ve struggled (yes, struggled) through the last two years. Yet, just the way my mind works (truly, I am very much an extrovert in how I process information), I must get thoughts out of my head in order to make sense of them. If I just think things over, it’s as if my brain is scratched CD. I’ll move on to other thoughts, just to have my current issue grab me again. If I write thoughts down, I can swim around in them a bit, picking them up and examining them one at a time, rearranging them until they make a modicum of sense to me. I can find patterns rather than being stuck with details. Telling my thoughts as a story, the story starts to take shape. I have a somewhat cohesive (if confusing) whole rather than a million discreet bits of mental debris.

But, if I write about my husband, he has this address. If I write about my beliefs regarding religion, it feels like I alienate people whom I love dearly, but who I know are believers. And in some cases, I have people I know in real life who read, but might not have the maturity of tact when sharing my thoughts with others.

Is it time for a new blog? What does it mean to be authentically myself, complete with the ugly parts and inconsistencies, and how do I balance that with kindness and compassion?

Whatever the answer, I need to find an outlet for all of this clutter that’s in my head. It’s making me crazy.